My name is Moses a driver 30 years old. I thought that this is the right age for me to marry and I decided to marry the girl whom we have been through a lot together. Whom we have invested and been able to buy a plot and build a three-bedroomed house together while were dating. She is a nurse by profession. Last week we decided that we should involve our parents in this and the first move was to introduce her to my parents and later she does the same and we follow all that’s supposed to be followed in our culture. It was on Saturday the day we visited my parents. When we arrived in the nearby shopping Centre, she told me that the shopping Centre looked familiar and I just brushed it off by telling her that maybe she had visited the place sometime back. When we got home we were welcomed but my mum’s words worried me, “blood is thicker than water, when did you meet with her” I asked her who. To my surprise she called her by her name, “ ann kwani mko nani” surprised I asked “ how do you know her?,” this is your cousin. your late uncle’s daughter” we looked at each other surprised. We did not say what actually had brought us there. I love the lady and I don’t want to let her go, she loves me too but this is separating us, the fights have become so frequent. What should I do??????
Please help and I will appreciate it.
Congratulation on making the right decision to marry and not only marry but to marry the love of your life. The lady you know quite well and also the lady who knows you well. It’s not your mistake to love your cousin neither hers as you both did not know of this in time. What’s making this easy for me is you know that before you marry you have to follow some cultural practices before getting married. Parents from both sides will be against it but the question is what if you decided to move on and have kids without involving them just for them to know later what happened? Could you have left your family? Some will say that if you marry someone whom you are from one family you can end up having disabled kids and the question is we have seen some communities doing that and we have never seen paralyzed kids as a result of their marriages so why you? In biology, some things may contribute to having paralyzed or disabled kids because of some biological aspects so this should not stop you. Like the community I come from if you find yourself in such a situation there are some sacrifices that are made for cleansing, so even you look for someone old and ask him on what you can do over this.
When it comes to your woman don’t judge her as the reason why she might be behaving the way she is it is not because she hates you or she does not want this anymore but it might be because she is feeling that she is losing what she has been believed in for so long. Make her know that you are not giving up on her and you are going to fight for what you both believe in.
Looking forward to seeing an invitation to your wedding.